MGS: Operation Cave Demon comes to iPhone

Metal Gear is coming to the iPhone? WTF?

If you know me, you know I hate MGS.

My apologies, MGS fanboys and gewerls, but Solid Snake's a dweeb, him and Liquid. And Naked. And Meredith too, she totally sux. And MGS4 was soooooooooo boring. And over-rated. And sucky.

I'm sure the hearts of every Vestibule and neogaf poster are all aflutter (most of which don't own an iPhone, nor can they afford one) with the announcment of Metal Gear iPhone, but sorry, this has to be the lamest port idea I've ever seen.

Don't worry about me though, other than the gut-wrenching terror I feel at the moment, I'm fine.

Now, about that Kenyan Mangrove Crab...

CQC... counter-balance the knife, quick slash, retract...

Review: Rise Of The Argonauts

Apparently the Golden Fleece is still lost after all these years. Should you spend the time to find it?

My review at Hardcore Gamer says prolly not.

McFarlane to appear at Phoenix Comicon 09, won't have a long drive

I love Todd McFarlane. He's making me a star, afterall.

News just broke he's be appearing at Phoenix Comicon 09, which is sweet, but... he lives here, like 30 minutes from Mesa where the event will be held.

Not tooooo big of a deal, if you asked me. If he was making the trek to the Delaware Comicon 09, then you'd see me bust out a spawntacular head spin.

Oh well, here's the full rundown.

File Under: Too Much Time On Your Hands

A hemp-mote? Really?

Preview: Ride To Hell? Pretty much...

I'm still trying to recover the 6-digit loss of brain cells I suffered during last week's frozen jaunt to Joshua Tree, CA for Deep Silver's Ride To Hell event.

The game is shaping up nicely, at least the 40 minute eyes-on only presentation the DS brass showed made it look that way.

At first glance, Ride To Hell is a GTA-meets-Easy Rider mish mash with equal parts Full Throttle, Vanishing Point and Road Rash. So... it's basically GTA with biker gangs.

Cool premise, which, of course, in video game journoland means cool press event, right?

Well sort of, if having your bus breakdown in the middle of nowhere, meeting a serial killer and bunking at a hippie rehab center is your idea of cool.

While I'm currently scribbling out all of my exploits of the adventure and an in-depth preview in Hardcore Gamer, here's some snapshot highlights to commerorate the event, which include discharging my weapon with Jo Garcia, Playboy's 2008 Cybergirl of the Year, and watching IGN's Nate Ahearn nearly blow up his room whilst attempting to light a cigarette off a pilot light.

Halo 3 V.2.0: WTF?

Finish the fight... again? A new game? A new video? A Pelicanload of possibilities.

Check my impressions at Official Xbox Magazine here.

Get moving Spartans, go, GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Casey Lynch figures coming in McFarlane Guitar Hero figures, Wave 2

When I was a kid, I was under the impression that you only ever truly made it in showbiz if you had a figure made of you. I would often wonder if Harrison Ford had all his Han Solo figures, the OG Cantina scene outfit, the blue furry I-gotta-rescue-Luke Hoth outfit, the Bespin outfit, the Endor camo trenchcoat.... and what about the medal outfit on the 12" action doll?

Anyways... Kotaku is reporting that Casey Lynch is on the list of upcoming Guitar Hero characters to get the figure treatment, in "Wave 2".

I'm almost there, just a few more steps to stardom and I'll finally be able to hang with Harrison and Mark. Hammil, Mark Hammil. Oh, forget it.

Editorial: Pubgate, or What if Sir Peter Wanted Us To Cheat?

Read and sound off on my Fable II-flavored Pub games conspiracy theories at OXM.

Editorial: Disposable Hero? New Metallica for GH III, yay or nay?

Metallica have a new album coming out. I'm torn, because, well I haven't been a fan since they forced me to break up with them in 1991.

I'm especially ambivalent about a new metallidork record considering the whole thing is playable on Guitar Hero III (and World Tour once that hits) the day it hits stores.

How do I feel about it, and more importantly, how do you feel about it? I opine a bit about the whole mess at OXM here, see for yourself and weigh in.

Review: Turning Point: Fall of Liberty

More like fall of inspiration. Or fall of Spark Unlimited (one could only hope). Meh.

My OXM review here.

Review: Man Man: Beard Rock From Beyond

Gonzo art sprattle, served up with lentils and a cheap Cab for your pleasure, via AP, review here.

Editorial: Why no Achievements for Xbox OG's, Microsoft?

I recently ran an editorial in OXM on the lack of Achievement support for Xbox Originals.

Check it here if you missed it the first time around.

Tera Melos: Best Cartwheels in NoCal Music Scene

Interviewed the Roseville, CA trio, a few weeks back for AP. Great band deserving your attention.

Tiger Army: Inked Interview with Nick 13

Seems like Nick 13 and I can't get enough of each other; I chatted him up for the third time in under 6 months, this time for an Inked Magazine feature.

Review: Frontlines: Fuel Of War

Shooters are the new black, at least they have been since Half Life 2.

Piping hot Frontlines review at GamePro.

Review: Twisted Metal: Head On: Extra Twisted Edition, or guess what I did on my vacation?

My wife slept, read magazines and went shopping. Me? I played DMC4 and Twisted Metal: Head On: Extra Twisted Edition.

Review at GamePro.

Review: Devil May Cry 4, gimped by PR

I got lucky with this one, thanks Tae :)

Check it.

[EDIT: There was a good amount of editing, for the publisher's "embargo", that makes this read a little on the shallow side. Sorry. I originally mentioned the repetitiveness of the bosses, the backtracking and some of the problems with Dante's weapons specifically, which were removed to keep it "spoiler-free". Pfffffttt...]

The Forms: The Band This Year You MUST Check Out

You heard about The Forms here, first. Well, in AP first.

Review: Unreal Tournie III

Fasten your seat belts, Unreal III has more speed than David Chappelle's medicine cabinet.

Now get to GamePro and hit up that review fastlike before you wake up in Africa.